My Advice for the Bachelor
I was at a bachelor party a few weekends ago. Let me clear the air and say that there were no wolf-pack speeches, babies named Carlos or mysterious tigers in the bathroom the morning after. (I actually can't verify that there wasn't a tiger, I suppose, because I didn't stay the night, but I digress.)
The agenda was pretty low-key: golfing and then out to the backwoods to a furnished cabin for dinner and bonfire.
I was lucky enough to be paired with the bachelor during our 18-hole stint on the golf course. I was slightly caught off guard eight holes in when he asked me a very direct question: What advice do you have for a bachelor about to get married?
I suppose I was just hoping for a relaxing game of golf, man-style, not a lot of chit chat, just play ball. Plus, I've never really been asked that question.
But the answer came to mind almost immediately, and as I was telling Kels about it later, it was so comforting to know that I had given advice that I wholeheartedly believe in.
While I could have rambled on about all the reasons we're still married or that to be really intentional they should create a family playbook, I boiled it down to two simple concepts:
- Never Lie. Ever. I don't care how small you think that little white lie is, don't do it. If you open the door to little white lies, it's all the invitation the devil needs to move in and wreak havoc. It's just not a good idea. Even if it's joking. It's not worth it.
- Always talk through your problems. Be honest if something is bothering you. Bring it up. Discuss the issues with love, and keep calm. Especially never go to bed angry. If you let anger simmer, it will eventually boil. The obvious advice here is: Communication is everything.
The more I think about the advice I gave my friend, the more I realize how trust is so important. As spouses, if we fail at either one of these two items, we will break trust with the other. Trust is a valuable thing that might be earned easily once, but very difficult to earn back after it's been broken.
Kelsey and I didn't do a great job of talking through our problems early on in our marriage. As we've matured, we've gotten a lot better. Love & Respect took us to a whole new level of communication.
What advice would you give to a bride/groom? Leave a comment below.